I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
