If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
