you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
