Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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