I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
