I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
