Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Too much gin, very little bucket
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
