cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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