Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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