Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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