We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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