That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
