I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
