I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
