If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
