Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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