she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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