turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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