Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize