guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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