I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
