I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
