her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
