You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
