Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
