Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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