Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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