the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
