Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
