Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize