You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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