it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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