at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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