We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
