trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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