I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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