They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
