stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
