I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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