today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
