By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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