Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
