Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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