I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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