haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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