so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
