It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
