It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
