Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
