So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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